For & To

We have two responsibilities, although they are not exactly what we might think. They are not blanket statements, but rather simple points of responsibility for the effect we have on our ourselves and our own lives and also the effect that we have on others and their lives.

Almost every house is a fixer upper in some way. Hopefully the needed changes are cosmetic, but sometimes, they run much deeper.

This is one of those things that is really very simple, but also incredibly, incredibly difficult.  To be responsible to yourself —not for yourself, but to yourself—means that you need to be the best version of yourself possible.  Think of it like buying a fixer upper—because in a sense, we are all fixer uppers.  If the roof is leaking.  You need to fix it.  If the paint is peeling, you need to repaint.  If there’s a gas leak, you might need to see a gastroenterologist.  Hopefully the issues with your fixer upper are cosmetic and just take a bit of work and intention to repair.  But you may find that there are some pretty significant foundational issues too.  And you may really need to invest to get those fixed so that the house doesn’t fall down.  But truly, if you find a problem in your house that needs to be fixed.  You fix it.  Because you really don’t want it to fall down.  For most of us—even if you’re a renter—where we live is our largest investment, and we all do things to make sure that investment is going to keep us safe, secure, and as happy as possible.

The same is true for our lives.  If there is a problem, we need to fix it in order to insure that we are safe, secure, and as happy as possible.  Because to be perfectly honest, our lives—who and what we are—is actually a far more important investment in our futures than a home ever will be. The holiday season can be a great opportunity to have a bit of a home inspection so we can fix what needs to be fixed and start the new year off on the right foot.

…it always effects more people than just us. Always.

Our responsibility to others works the same way.  If your house is falling in, or the yard is a wreck, or if your trees are poorly maintained and constantly causing problems for your neighbors, what happens to their property values?  What happens to the culture and feeling of your block and street.  Neighbors may put up with you, but no one is that happy about it.

When we don’t do the work we need to do on ourselves, it always effects more people than just us.  Always.

We are all fixer uppers, and it’s time to get building!

But ya know what?  There’s an interesting study that I read a good while back about neighborhood noise complaints. People will complain about loud parties, they will complain about yelling and screaming, they will complain about music.  Neighbors complain about SO many things.  You know what noise is often the most tolerated though?  Construction.  In other words, neighbors complain the least when improvements are being made to a home.

And ya know what else?  The same is true for us.  The people in your life will be far more supportive, kind, and compassionate if you are fixing what needs to be fixed.  I know this because I’ve seen it a lot—in literally every iteration of my career.  Its amazing how much grace people will offer someone if they know they are working as hard as they can to be a better version of themselves.  Heck, even more so, when people know that you are actively working to be a better person and they can see you making progress, they often start looking up to you.  Cause again, its like a fixer upper, you transform a broken house into something amazing, you’ll be the envy of your block.  The next thing you know your neighbors will start fixing up their homes.  And it may take a bit of time, but sooner than later, you’ve got a much better block than you did before.  All because you took the time to do the work that needed to be done.

All of this boils down to the fact that it is human to have problems.  And its entirely ok to have problems.  Its not ok, however, to do nothing about them.  It is your responsibility to yourself and to those around you, to fix the problems you have.

Thankfully, we have this whole season (whether based in the holidays or just winter in general) to examine our responsibilities so that we can have a positive effect on our own lives and on the lives of others.  If we so choose, we have a chance to honestly look within and address the things that need to be addressed—making those home improvements in our lives so that our whole neighborhood is a better place to be.