What To Do With A Bad Mood

I saw a social media post of a guy saying that “You don’t owe anyone an apology if you had a bad day.”  And thats right.  You don’t owe anyone an apology just because you experienced a bad day or even if you are in a bad mood.

Bad days and bad moods happen to the best of us, but they don’t have to be toxic

BUT, you would owe some people an apology for treating them badly just because you’ve had a bad day or are in a bad mood. Because whether we like it or not, that bad day you had or bad mood you are in is yours.  It belongs to you and no one but you.  And that means that its your responsibility.

Its certainly not easy to keep yourself in check when everything inside and out has gone south.  Its far FAR easier to let our bad mood play itself out and let it affect everyone and everything around us.  But when you’re in a right frame of mind, I think you’d agree that the people in your life deserve your best.  And they definitely didn’t sign up to bear the brunt of your bad day.  The same could be said for strangers you might encounter along the way.

And what’s more, is that you, yourself, deserve to feel better than what a bad day or a bad mood gives you.

The truth is, that part of being a healthy, happy human depends upon your ability to recognize and manage what you have going on.  And that means doing three things:  1) recognize what you’re actually feeling, 2) metabolize your emotions, and then 3) make a good choice about what you’re going to do next.

Recognizing that your in a bad mood usually isn’t so hard.  Most of us know when we are kinda miserable.  But, as soon as you get that vibe from yourself, that is your signal that you’ve got a little work to do.  Take a step back, literally remove yourself to some quiet little spot and start metabolizing those emotions—which, you do by noticing what they’re trying to tell you.

When we have negative feelings of any sort its generally because something isn’t or at least wasn’t right.  There is a problem, a sticky issue.  Something that our emotions are trying to get us to confront.  So listen, inquire with curiosity, notice what you’re feeling and name it.  And also, what kind of sensations do you feel in your body?  What does your current mood make you believe about yourself and others—and more importantly, are those beliefs actually true?  Are those beliefs helpful?  Are they kind?  You don’t have to spend an hour meditating in the lotus position to do this.  Just take a moment—it often doesn’t take much more than that.  And then once you have an idea about what’s going on for you and things have settled a bit.  Make some choices.

Responsibly managing emotion always brings peace.

Are there actionable steps you can take to help ease your burdens?  Are there things to do to fix the things that caused your bad day or bad mood?  If those things are within your reach, then put a plan in place to take care of them.  And beyond immediate or practical concerns, what is a reasonably ideal mood that you would prefer to have—and what do you need in order to feel a bit of that?  Similar to those beliefs we talked about just a moment ago, a great way to determine those choices is to try to do what is true, helpful, and kind.

Its really easy, but never helpful to push a bad day or a bad mood onto someone else.  Doing that never helps you achieve your goals, it won’t help you feel good about yourself, and it won’t help other people show you any kindness.  On the other hand, people who actively work to process and take ownership of their bad day or their bad mood, ALWAYS come out ahead—even if its just a little bit.  When you consistently take responsibility for your feelings, you grow in your capacity to have agency with your emotions.  Likewise, over time, the more your work to marshal your moods and emotions, the more you will build your capacity to be calm and centered in the face of a storm.

If you would like to explore your own emotional landscape and cultivate your capacity to navigate difficult moments, let’s have a conversation. I help people gain a better understanding of themselves through a lens of compassion and open exploration, each and every day, and I’d be happy to do the same for you. Be well.